Parents In the Basement

I know it has been awhile so I thought it was time for the latest edition of Parents in the Basement!

 

Easter Sunday I had to go get tested for COVID (well, technically I didn’t because I knew I didn’t have it but the Doc-in-the-box wouldn’t see me unless I was tested first)….STUPID! Anyway, after having both my nostrils swabbed and them touching my brain with that dang thing, it was NEGATIVE like I said it would be; but who listens to me? Anyway, I digress…..I ended up with a diagnosis of bronchitis (which I told them that’s what it was when I walked in). I digress again. I get home and mom had made us a delicious Easter feast and this conversation happened over dinner:

Me: “They will never come at me again with that nasal swab for COVID.”

Mom: “Is there any other way they can check for COIVD?”

Dennis: “Yeah, I think China came up with an anal swab if you would prefer that.”

Mom: “Oh yes, that is what I would choose!”

At this point Dennis and I are just looking at each other with bug eyes…..dad is not paying attention and is playing on his phone.

Me: “Ummmmm, mom? You would rather have an anal swab than a nose swab?”

Mom: “Of course, my nose is very sensitive and I would think that would hurt more than the anal one.”

Me: “So dad, what would you choose? A nose swab or an anal swab?”

Dad ignoring me…..

Me: “Dad, did you hear me?”

Dennis: “Jerry, you know you would have to get naked for the anal swab?”

Dad is still ignoring us but shaking his head

Dennis: “Jerry, what part made you shake your head the anal or the naked?”

Dad: “GOOD GRIEF I heard you and I am not answering. Can you talk about anything else beside butt’s and being naked?”

 

I went downstairs and mom was so excited she had put a kitty stroller in her shopping cart on Chewy.com and was trying to show it to me. She couldn’t find it, so I looked and she was searching for her cart in her email. I told her she needed to go to the website, which she did. Then she said:

“Tam, I can’t find it. I put two things in my cart and they aren’t here.”  I then informed her she needed to sign into Chewy so she could get to her cart. So, she put in her user ID but couldn’t think of her password. I told her, “mom, just click on that keychain right there, your password is already saved.” She responded, “It is? Well, look at that.”

We finally get to her cart on Chewy.com and there it was in navy blue…..a stroller for SIMON THE CAT. She then proceeded to purchase it. Here is your heads up to be looking for pictures of Simon the cat strolling through the neighborhood in his new dandy kitty stroller.  I think we will let Dennis push him! HA!

Mom pushing Simon up the driveway

 

Self explanatory

Conversation with the Cellar Dwellers about death.  Dad is obsessed with when he dies (he talks about it a lot).  We finally decided to have him stuffed like a taxidermist would do to an animal.  I told mom we could just prop him up in his recliner.  It would give her someone to talk to (trust me, mom doesn’t need anyone to talk back) and it would give Simon a lap to lay on.  It is a win/win.  Dad laughed hysterically and said it worked for him…..now to find a taxidermist who can do this for us.

 

Mom and dad were out of town last week and they were so disappointed that the hotel they stayed in Sunday night did not have the Hallmark Channel.  I mean, God forbid they miss an episode of When Calls the Heart (or as dad calls it, “As The Heart Calls”).  I told them I would DVR it for them so they could watch it when they came home.

So they come upstairs the other day to watch it on my TV and before I even get it started dad says, “I can’t watch it up here the echo is too bad.” He then asked, “how else can I watch it?” It hit me that I could see if I could log onto my iPad on my Spectrum App and find it on there. I did. So their option was to watch it on my big screen TV upstairs or on my iPad screen downstairs. They chose the iPad. So off we went back to the basement. Trying to get them set up though was hysterical. They sat on the love seat together but the coffee table was too far away and dad wanted it closer. He tried to put it on the console between them but it was too close. I finally went in the kitchen, grabbed their trash can and put it directly in the middle of the loveseat and put the iPad on top. Before I even pushed play dad said, “turn it up.” It was all the way up. I told him to shut his mouth and have listening ears (yes, it is like talking to a toddler up in here). Anyway, they were both extremely happy at 4pm that day getting to catch up on their “story.” What will Jerry and Pat do when it is over in 2 weeks for a whole year? Dad loves him some Elizabeth!

 

So dad gets a panicked phone call from mom on Thursday as she was driving home from working at church.  She said the air in her car was not working and it was hot in the car and outside.  She told him she had to stop at Aldi so he hopped in his car and met her in the Aldi parking lot.  The conversation went something like this:

Mom – “Jerry, I tried everything and there is no cold air.”

Dad – “Let me look at it.” He gets in the car and turns it on. He then turns the air conditioning ON and cold air begins to blow.  He informs mom the air conditioning was not even turned on.

Mom – “Oh goodness…..I never thought to turn the air on.”

 

Oh and mom informed us all that she keeps getting porn emails sent to her email trash.  She proceeded to show everyone at church yesterday too when they had asked her if she received their emails.  Apparently the church emails and the porn emails go to her trash…..she is mortified that she gets such awful emails but shows everyone.

 

And this picture is just because Jerry says he doesn’t nap during the day…….he had NO clue I took this and had NO clue Dennis took a video!  He still tried to deny it after we showed him…….he said he was playing “Words with Friends” and was concentrating on what word to play next.  I never knew people snored when concentrating so hard!

 

Until next time………