Silence is often golden.
Silence, whether it is for your own mental health; just a chance to regroup or if it is to keep you from saying something you shouldn’t; silence is often a very good thing.
I have a tendency to speak before I think. Heck, I don’t have a filter, let’s just be honest. If it goes through my brain, 9 times out of 10, it comes out my mouth. Good, bad, ugly, indifferent, funny and not-so-funny…..if I think it, you can be pretty sure that because of the lack of a filter and the lack of impulse control, it is going to be said. Have I said things I wish I could take back? Many, many times and on the flip side of that, I have also said things that others are too scared to say; which is not always a bad thing; but it can be detrimental as well.
Sometimes though, when I get completely overwhelmed (like right now), silence is the best choice for me. It keeps me from saying something that I might regret and it gives me a chance to regroup, think about the things I NEED to say and the things I WANT to say and then decide what SHOULD be said and what would be best kept to myself. I think with age comes wisdom and the little wisdom I have gained through the years, one thing I try to do is to give myself a chance to be silent and think about things prior to speaking them. I am not always successful at that but I try to be intentional at it when given the chance.
There is so much in this life that doesn’t bother or concern me and then there are things that literally eat me up inside. I have learned unless you confront issues that eat you up head on, you are going to be miserable, but often times those are the most difficult issues to face. I have also realized that no matter what bothers you in this life there will be times there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it; sometimes it just can’t be fixed. You can try to point out and express your hurt, how you feel and why, but sometimes there is no fixing it. You can even try with all your might to fix it yourself and find common ground and be okay with it, but sometimes no matter how hard you try, you still can’t make it okay. You can work on yourself, you can reach out and try to find some commonality and resolve within the situation, but often times…..nothing works and you remain heartbroken, torn and weary.
Life is hard……people are difficult…..situations sometimes suck the life out of you. We are all different. We think and act differently. We all have opinions, feelings and things in our life we wish we didn’t. One issue that might not affect someone else, is devastating to you. You have the right to your feelings….they should be taken seriously, even when ridiculous to someone else. You matter. Your feelings matter….it shouldn’t make a difference that no one understands. Sometimes feelings are going to get hurt; whether they are intentional or unintentional. Sometimes we are confronted with an issue that no matter how much you hate it, no matter how hard it is for you to handle….your hands are tied and it won’t be fixed. You can look back and wish the situation had never occurred (trust me, I have), but all you can do is move on from here. There are issues I will NEVER be okay with. There are certain people I will never be okay with. There are sad times in my life that I will never truly get past. Some days are harder than others. Some days I don’t let things bother me and others times situations are all-consuming. The one thing I know is this…..we cannot please all the people all of the time and in some cases difficult choices have to be made. The question is what is the cost for those difficult choices and if and when do we make them?
Life…..sometimes not fun, sometimes not happy, sometimes not joyful and sometimes you just have to be silent and pray that when the day comes to break your silence you speak words in truth and love.
Until next time……….