This past week has been eye-opening for me in many ways so here goes the short of it (ha, y’all know that isn’t true as I can’t keep anything short).
I was going to blog last week about a 21 day challenge I was starting. I actually wrote the blog post but got so busy with life I never took time to proofread it or publish it; but here I am now admitting failure and renewed motivation because of it.
I learned several things over the past week. The first lesson is if you only weigh 115 pounds and have had severe hypoglycemia your whole life doing a detox, no sugar, no carb, all clean eating challenge might not be the best thing for you. Now before anyone “attacks” me for trying to lose weight, that is NOT why I did it. Do I have a few pounds I could shed, sure, but I did it as a detox, a restart if you will. Thinking, if I could rid my body of the toxins and junk then perhaps I would feel better physically and mentally. I hear once you get through a detox and rid your body of all the junk we don’t need that your brain fog will be gone, you will have more energy, won’t be so tired, etc. So, Dennis and I decided to try it. He is still doing great on it and I am so proud of him. Me, not so much. I got SUPER sick. I went to bed Monday night not feeling well at all. I woke up MANY times throughout the night feeling worse each time. At 6am I got out of bed thinking I was perhaps dehydrated and tried walking into the kitchen to get some water, but I never made it. The next thing I knew I was on the bedroom floor. I reached for my cell phone on the chest in our room and texted Dennis “HELP.” Dennis was in the shower and about 10 minutes later got my text. He got me back in bed as I was so weak, nauseated, shaking and dizzy and I knew I needed sugar (which I wasn’t allowed to have). But, I knew I couldn’t do this so I asked him to bring me some Gatorade. I drank it, fell back asleep and woke up still weak and not feeling well but I was better than I had been all night. Yesterday I realized that doing a complete cleanse/detox diet was not for me. I so admire the people who can do it, but my body can’t handle it. Perhaps if I could have pushed through then my body would balance out the sugar issue, I am not sure but I wouldn’t have been able to function like that and I have to be 100% to take care of Hannah.
That failure though led to the wisdom of me knowing that I couldn’t do the diet to that extreme but it also led me to some revelations of what I could do. Small changes in my diet and life that would help me feel better. Things not only to change in my diet, but also in my mind, heart and spirit. One thing I promised myself when I started this 21-day challenge, along with the eating, I was not going to sit down and waste time scrolling around on Facebook and that part of the challenge I have kept. I have missed keeping up with my friends and family but I have had so much more time to focus on other things. I also promised myself to spend more time in God’s word and in prayer and that too has improved my attitude and spirit. Exercising more was another thing I had promised myself I would do but due to my feeling so bad I haven’t done that yet but I am going to. As far as my diet is concerned, I have always eaten “healthy” but there are some changes I could make like avoiding the simple carbs (crackers and chips are my downfall) and avoiding dairy……cheese and sour cream is a weakness. So I am still keeping those things out of my diet and I think that will help me tremendously. I am cooking for Dennis on this diet and will be eating the same foods, just making sure I add a few complex carbohydrates along the way and perhaps a piece of bread or two! Fortunately, I am not a sugary-sweet eater. The only dessert that is tempting to me is cheesecake and fortunately I don’t keep that just lying around in the house (although my sweet neighbor has brought me a couple of pieces from Cheesecake Factory that I enjoyed immensely).
My motivation is better. I have a more clear direction on what I want my life to be and look like. I have been encouraged by several people to follow a dream of mine and I am finally motivated to try. I haven’t been motivated in 4 years and now is the time. Caring for Hannah truly takes so much out of me but I have to do this or one day I will regret it forever. So, I am going to learn how to balance more and prioritize my life better all while eating well and exercising. The motivation to do all of that is finally here and I refuse to waste it.
I haven’t told many people this but when we were in NYC and Ainsely from Fox News signed Hannah’s book I handed her a letter I had written. I never dreamed she would actually read it but she did and found me on Facebook last Wednesday and sent me a message. She said something in that message that resonated with me. Part of her message to me said: Life throws us some curve balls, but God gives us the abilities to miraculously catch them all and be grateful for the lessons we learn. Isn’t that the truth? I know we have all had curve balls thrown at us but what we do with those curve balls is what truly matters. I have not always done the right thing with those curve balls. I haven’t always rolled with them, trusted God with them wholeheartedly or been grateful for the many lessons God is trying to teach me. But I want to do better with that. I want to take each and every good and bad thing in my life, trust God with those times, learn from them and be better because of it.
The past week has been full of learning from recent and past failures, gaining wisdom and insight, having revelations and “aha” moments and finding the strength and motivation that I have been missing for SO long. Thankful for a 21 day challenge that I failed…….because that failure opened my eyes to so much more!
Until next time…….