Oh the thought of being so young, naive, innocent…..oblivious to the evil world we live in and the hardships and heartaches of life. The ability to not see the hatred of others and the cruelness of people. The ugliness and biased in politics, the unfairness in life, the war on Christianity and the people who choose to bully others instead of love. The hate that flows from various people to certain groups and the brokenness of families and friendships.
In this day and age in which we live, by the way which is so different from the world I grew up in which was the 70’s and 80’s. We thought people were mean and cruel then at times, but it was Heaven compared to this world I am raising my daughter in today. My heart aches for our children. It aches for the elderly who have lost the world they fought so hard for. It aches for all those living this life today who wonder where yesterday went.
All over the TV, internet, Facebook…..wherever you look you see destruction, hate, evil, misunderstanding, bias, heartbreak, killing……I could go on. Many times lately I turn the TV off. I log off of Facebook and I go sit in Hannah’s playroom and just look at her. Her sweet face, her smile; with no care, concern or worry in the world. She brings me peace……she shows me that in our home we are safe and happy. Her sweet innocence calms me and makes me so thankful she has no clue what the world is truly like. How mean and hateful people (even some in your own circle) can be. She doesn’t see or know any of that and I am so grateful I have been able to protect her from that so far. I am so sick and tired of hate. I am so over bitterness, resentment, ugliness and the inability for others to take responsibility for their own actions and to just say “I am sorry.” I am so done with people who are just plain mean! Life is too short to surround yourself with the ugliness in society. The peace you get from walking away and ignoring those who spread hate and lies is amazing.
My daughter, her sweet innocence. Her love for others and most importantly her love for Jesus has taught me so much. Last Sunday we had the opportunity to take her to see The Gaither Vocal Band. Friends of ours got together and bought us tickets. I was nervous to take Hannah due to the exposure of germs; but how do we pass up an opportunity to see her favorite band up close and personal. I was slightly concerned what her behavior would be like too because let’s face it, she has trouble socially. That mainly stems from the fact that we are always home and never in social settings, not even restaurants. So, I was wondering how she would behave. She AMAZED me. I will be honest…..I sat there the entire concert with tears in my eyes. I watched my little girl sit on her daddy’s lap praising and worshipping her Lord and Savior. There were moments of pure worship. Her hands lifted, mouthing the words to the songs that were being sung, shining the little flashlight we were given as we walked in. Her legs and feet never stopped moving keeping the beat and her hands clapped in rhythm with the music. She yelled out a few times “I love you Mr. Gaither, come here, I give you warm hugs.” She also would yell out songs to sing next! HA! But, it wasn’t a bad thing for her to yell out. The people sitting around us told us they had never seen a child worship that way before. We had people tell us they were in tears watching her and wished they could worship in the same way. I felt the spirit of the Lord in that place last Sunday. I felt a peace and joy I haven’t experienced in a very long time. For 3 whole hours the world and the evil in it became a distant memory and I was in that moment watching my little girl worship Jesus. A spirit of peace, love, innocence and rebirth in a way. As we left that night and even the next morning Hannah said, “mama, Hannah best night ever…..I love Mr. Gaither.” I sat there on the way home and realized that NOTHING in this world mattered except Dennis and Hannah. My world, my home, my family……the 3 of us.
God has blessed us SOOOO much and He continues to reveal His plan for me in regards to my family. When I got sick in May it was what God used to show me how truly blessed I am. How I have taken so much for granted (mainly my health and my ability to stay here at home with Hannah). He has used these months to make me so content in my life. Such a shame that it took me getting sick to get to this place; but I am so grateful. I want a life of peace, joy, happiness and contentment but I have realized it isn’t going to come in the ways that I had hoped for. But……it is coming in a way that I pray God will use for His glory. God has entrusted me with a special gift, in the form of a little girl who has Down Syndrome. A little girl whose sweet innocence has taught me and shown me how we should go through life. Looking at the world through her eyes is amazing and I just wish others could see life and the world the way Hannah does. I guarantee you, we would all live differently, love harder and forgive easier.
Thank you my precious girl for your sweet innocence. Thank you for showing me what is important. Thank you for loving Jesus and pointing your mama, daddy and others to Him. I owe you so much and love you more than words can ever say. I am so blessed to be your mama……you continue to teach me so much and I am so indebted to you……
Until next time……..