A dear friend of mine tagged me in this above picture on Facebook. WOW….6 words that say so much. I have felt like this more than once the past 12 years and this journey with Hannah. But something else hit me as I read that; my heart is indeed tired but my heart is full as well.
I have said many times that this journey is not for the faint of heart. I have said that I never imagined when we decided to start a family that this would be our journey. It hurts watching your child suffer; a pain that I can not put into words. It hurts the deepest part of your heart and soul and there are days where you can barely breathe. The tears, the disappointment, the sadness, the grief…..it builds and tears you apart and yes, makes your heart, soul, mind and spirit so tired. But, then I look at Hannah……in my eyes I see the most beautiful and precious little girl to ever walk on this planet (keep in mind I am being biased as I know you all think the same of your child or children). HA! I see beauty from ashes. I see joy from sorrow. I see hope from disappointment. I see peace from grief. I see the most beautiful smile and hear the most amazing laugh from the sadness when I look at her.
My heart is very tired, but God takes that weary and worn heart and gives it rest and strength in my darkest and most difficult days. Sometimes that rest and strength He sends in the form of another person; a friend who has walked a similar journey and is willing to comfort you in yours. I am thankful for those times and those friends. Yesterday in the hospital He sent me 2 friends. One who just dropped in to bring me coffee and hug my neck and the other in the form of my friend Jeannie who has walked her own difficult journey with her sweet Dana who also has Down Syndrome and Autism. I don’t know that Jeannie knew just how tired my heart was yesterday and how I was on the verge of tears when she walked in but I know God sent her and I am thankful she listened to His still small voice to leave her own family and responsibilities to come minister to me in a very dark and tired time.
All of this to say…..God knows and cares when your heart is tired. He will comfort you and bring rest to your tired heart in His time. Yes, my heart is tired and has been for a very long time but my God knows, He cares and He comforts. If your heart is tired today, rest in Him. Find comfort in His word, His people and His promises. He never leaves us and never forsakes us and no matter how dark the day may seem, how bleak the future might look, how hard it is to take one more breath……He is there to give rest to your weary and tired heart.
Until next time………