Make A Choice


A friend of mine posted this on Facebook this morning and it hit me……we have all had bad things happen to us.  For some people it is a series of events; one thing after another where you think you will never get a break.  Some events are life-altering, some tragic, some are temporary……no matter what bad things happen though you have the choice on how it affects you.

I am faced with a choice in my own life right now and to be honest, I have been allowing the “bad things/sad things” to define me.  I refuse to allow them to destroy me but I have allowed things and people to steal my joy and take so much personally.  I am deciding here and now to allow these things to strengthen me instead.  I am going to take the bad/hard/difficult days and use them for good.

I refuse to apologize for how I see things or handle things.  I refuse to allow other people to control my thoughts and feelings.  I refuse to allow anyone or anything in my circle that can’t be happy for me when something goes good or allow me the time I need to grieve when something goes badly.  We all have ways in which we handle things in our life; good or bad.  But, if you have a friend who is struggling and those are the moments you are silent and/or walk away….they don’t need you in their life.  I am S L O W L Y learning that you don’t need MANY friends….you need just a few who are willing to love you and encourage you through your life; good, bad, happy, sad…..YOU are worthy to be loved.  YOU have the right to be validated for your feelings.  YOU have a journey that is YOURS; but you need to surround yourself with family and friends who will love you, support you, encourage you and allow you to be WHO you need to be and deal with things how you feel is best, so your bad times strengthen you instead of defining you or destroying you.

If you have people in your life who YOU are allowing to rob you of your joy and make you feel unworthy, unloved, lonely and like you don’t matter…..YOU don’t need them.  Rid your life of those who aren’t kind, loving, encouraging and loyal.  Having one or two good friends is better than a plethora of fair-weather friends.  Hard but necessary lesson especially when you are going through difficult times.  Don’t allow anyone or any difficulty to define or destroy you.  Don’t allow bitterness or resentment to creep in (been there, done that and it is no fun).

BE YOU!  You might not be “cool” or popular.  You might not be as fun or quick-witted as others or be able to hang with certain groups of people, but that is okay.  God made you uniquely you and you are perfect in His eyes.  Don’t allow people to hurt you…..don’t allow people to dictate how you should feel or how you should handle things in your life.  Sometimes in life, God gets us to the point where we ONLY have Him to depend on and sometimes getting to that place in cathartic.  Sometimes, realizing you ONLY need Him and that you are strong enough to get through difficulties with ONLY Him is all you need to validate your feelings that YOU are enough.  YOU are worthy.  YOU are strong.  YOU can persevere.  YOU are going to be okay.

Yes, I am preaching to myself here but perhaps someone else needs to hear it too.  People have NO clue what you go through on a daily basis.  Honestly, most people DO NOT care what you go through on a daily basis.  Oh but I know WHO does care….He created you.  He loves you.  He is always there for you and He is waiting to be there to carry you if you allow Him to.  I don’t know where I would be without the Lord.  He validates me.  He loves me like no one else.  He makes me feel worthy and like I have purpose.  Those days I feel all alone…..I know I am not; because I have a Savior who loves me unconditionally and will never leave me or forsake me…..who else can you say that about?

Until next time……..

Advertisements

He Takes Care of Me

Sometimes I get completely overwhelmed at the thought of life and the hand we have been dealt.  Watching your child suffer medically so much just makes you weary.  Then, you add health issues for me the past year and there are moments I just don’t want to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I would, at times, prefer to curl up in a ball in my bed, pull the covers over my head and just SLEEP!  But, I can’t do that…..I have a family to take care of; which is my honor and joy but sometimes I am just flat-out-exhausted…..I know many moms out there who are saying “AMEN” right now!  You dad’s too…..I know you get tired just as much.

But, when those overwhelming, and sometimes grieving moments hit me I hit my knees and I thank the Lord for giving me Dennis.  Y’all have no clue what he sacrifices for Hannah and me.  You have no clue how hard he works, the stress that he endures, the exhaustion he suffers and the things that are required of him having a special needs child.  He hasn’t just done this for 13-1/2 years…..he has done it for nearly 18 years.  He has had more stress obviously the past nearly 14 years with Hannah but he has and continues to take such good care of me too.

I haven’t worked outside our home since the day I gave birth to Hannah nearly 14 years ago.  I haven’t had the stress of waking up with an alarm clock, punching a time clock, driving in rush hour traffic to and from work, dealing with the scum of the city (bad guys if you are wondering what I am referring to).  He has provided our family a BEAUTIFUL home to live in.  He puts food on the table (well, he pays for it, I make it)!  HA!  When it came time to buy me a new vehicle, he bought me what I wanted (not necessarily what I needed).  He could have insisted on something smaller but I wanted a big SUV and he obliged me!  He never complains if I go shopping and spend money on myself or Hannah.  He rolls his eyes if I buy a new purse or pair of shoes (I seriously have a bad shoe addiction) but he never tells me no.  He helps me clean the house if I get behind.  He does laundry.  He knows my least favorite task is dusting and he does it for me.  He does ALL the outside work including washing the vehicles, keeping the yard clean and mowed…..everything outside.  I never help him and he never complains.  When we got married our rule was I did the inside work and he does the outside.  Obviously, he does so much more than I do and he does it willingly.

When I got sick last May he stepped up even more.  When I was diagnosed this past fall our hearts shattered but he just picked me up, told me we would do what we had to do and he has never failed to put me first and take care of me. There are days he comes home from work and I am still in my pajamas.  There are days where dinner is thrown together and not quite what he would have liked but I never hear him complain.  There are nights, like last night that I just needed to get out and he stayed home with Hannah so I could meet my cousin for dinner and run to Target (my happy place).  He just takes care of me.

It hit me today for some reason and I decided to write it all down.  We have a lot going on in our life right now but no matter what is going on he makes sure at all times that I am okay and I don’t take that for granted.  We are neither one perfect (he is closer than I am) but we certainly are perfect for each other.  I am so thankful for my husband.  I am so thankful for our life together.  I am so thankful for our little girl…..just knowing God loved us and trusted us so much that He entrusted Hannah to us…..WOW, what a blessing that He chose us for her.  There is nothing special about me but I am thankful God equips me each day to take care of my gifts from Him…….Dennis and Hannah.

Life isn’t always easy.  Life isn’t always pretty.  Life isn’t always fun.  BUT……life is always GOOD because God is always good and He gave me a man who takes care of me, loves me, honors me, respects me and together life is full of joy, happiness, love, trust and friendship.

Thank you Dennis….thank you for always loving me and taking care of me.  I am so thankful for you and the life we have built.  Thank you for never giving up on Hannah and me and being my rock on my hardest days.  I love you!

Until next time……….

 

One Day Closer

One day closer……those words have hit me in the depth of my heart the past few weeks.  I probably should have asked my friend before I wrote this post but those are his words…..actually his hashtag #onedaycloser.

Those are the words he types every time he posts a picture or a Facebook status about his beautiful wife who he lost to cancer.  But, what he doesn’t realize is his faith in those words speak volumes.  One day closer to being reunited with the love of his life.  One day closer to being in God’s presence where she is.  One day closer to all the hardships and heartaches of this life being eradicated forever.  One day closer to no more night, no more pain, no more sickness, no more sorrow, no more tears and no more death.

His words, each time I read them, hit me right in my heart and soul and soothe the ache therein.  One day closer to everything we go through in our life being okay because we will be in Heaven.  One day closer to the fight ending and the heartache gone forever!  I smile as I type this….it gives me hope and something to cling to.

My friend who writes those words almost daily and my journey are completely different.  I cannot fathom the pain in his heart, in his children’s hearts and in the words he types.  His pain is different than mine and I cannot comprehend the loss of a spouse.  My pain, albeit different has found comfort in the words he types and the faith we share.  His words have encouraged me and helped grow my faith.  He doesn’t know that…..but they have.  Through the journey he has walked and the pain he has endured since his sweet wife’s death he has been a testimony to God’s grace and mercy.  His faith in those 3 words….one day closer…..has spoken volumes to me and given me much needed hope and the ability to press on putting one foot in front of the other.  If he can do it; through the loss he has experienced, then I can too.

My friend……you are a living example of God’s grace and I am thankful for you and your family.  Thank you for your transparency and your willingness to be authentic and real!  It is through our trials I truly believe God uses us the most, if we allow Him to.

Years ago I was sitting in church and the preacher was preaching in 2 Corinthians Chapter 1.  This verse stuck with me and continues to this day.  It is my basis for sharing all that I do; in hopes that one day I can comfort others the way Christ has comforted me so many times.


Don’t be afraid to share your heartache, your struggles, your hurt or your grief…..you might just be the one God uses to comfort others one day in their own difficult journey!

Until next time……..

The Scarlet Letter

I read the Scarlet Letter many years ago in an assignment for school.  For some reason this story has always stayed with me.  If you don’t know the premise of the story it is set in Puritan Massachusetts Bay colony during 1642 to 1649, the novel tells the story of Hester Prynne who conceives a daughter through an affair and then struggles to create a new life of repentance and dignity. The book explores themes of legalism, sin and guilt.  She is forced, as punishment, to wear the Scarlett letter A on the chest of her dress so everyone knows her sin.

I bring this up because of my past.  No, I have never had an affair and I do not have a child out of wedlock but I remember after my separation in 1999 and divorce back in 2000 that I felt as if I was wearing the Scarlet Letter D on my chest!  The D, of course meaning Divorce. I was raised in a strict Southern Baptist family.  Divorce was not mentioned nor was it accepted.  I even heard preachers who preached in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s that divorce was a sin regardless of the reason.  In other words…..it doesn’t matter if the woman is being abused, if you are married, you stay with the abuser.  For the record, I completely disagree with that.

I don’t talk about my first marriage…..EVER and I prefer, even in this blog not to give details because let’s face it, it was 19 years ago and I have moved on and he has moved on and fortunately (for me) there was no tie that bound us….like a child.  So, in my case, getting out was so much easier than it is for other women.  I am a firm believer that it takes 2 to make a marriage work and 2 to make it fail.  I was not without my faults but when there is any form of abuse or abandonment (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and even sexual) sometimes you have to walk away.

Scarlet Letter D…..that is what it felt like for me after my divorce.  I felt like a failure and trust me MANY people made me feel like not only a failure but a sinner too.  People wonder to this day when church became hard for me…..well, it became hard after my divorce.  The looks, the gossip, the stares, the backstabbing….YES, even in the year 2000 it happened.  I can remember some details clear as day after people heard that I had gotten divorced.  I know for a fact, it was very hard on my parents in their social circles.  Not because they didn’t support me and the decision I had made but they were raised and believed that you never divorce.  My dad prayed for years for my brother and me that we would not ever face divorce.  It isn’t something we discuss either…..I mean, it is in the past and I prefer to leave it there.  But……I think other people, who are in the shoes now that I was then need to understand they aren’t alone.  Y’all know, if you have read my blog for any length of time that I am all about sharing my heart, my experiences (good and bad) and exposing my soul if it helps someone.

My life has never been a bed of roses.  I mean, my early years were good, calm, and happy.  It was in my late teenage years that my world started to unravel and by choices of my own doing the downfall began and spiraled.  I don’t blame anyone but myself for the choices I made but I will say that being raised very legalistic had its adverse reaction on me and caused me to question and rethink all I was taught growing up.  It didn’t make me make bad choices but it did make me rebel!  After getting married at the age of 25 and realizing on my wedding night that I had made the biggest mistake of my life caused me great angst and pain.  I will admit right here and now that the thought of suicide crossed my mind more than once.  I was extremely depressed, I lost about 20 pounds, I was sick all the time and truthfully had it not been for a Siamese cat named Cletus (who was my only friend and my world at the time) I might have taken matters in my own hands.  I finally sought out help and Dr. Rick Marks, who to this day I credit for saving my life, helped me get out.  The bottom line was I was getting out of this marriage through divorce or in a body bag…..I chose divorce!  The Scarlet Letter D!

The effect that my divorce had on me haunted me for years; even after finding Dennis, falling in love and marrying him.  The wounds were still fresh, the scars were not healed.  Dennis and I had our own growing pains the first few years of our marriage due to my fear and my insecurities.  He had never been married before and couldn’t quite grasp what I had been through.  We worked through my fears and insecurity and he truly helped me heal and learn to trust again.  It wasn’t easy but I did.  I am thankful that he was willing to help carry my baggage and heal from it.  Divorce was not the ending for me; it was my beginning.

What I am here today to say though is Divorce IS NOT the scarlet letter.  There is such a stigma in the Christian Faith about Divorce.  Probably not as bad now as it was back when I went through it or others before me.  I am not here condoning divorce and saying it is the ONLY way to fix marital problems but I am here to say that there is life after divorce and sometimes it is the only option.  I used to tell people….my sin was not divorcing, it was marrying the wrong man for me.  I didn’t wait for God’s best.  I didn’t listen to SO many people who saw things I didn’t and tried to talk me out of marrying him (even my dad as he was walking me down the aisle gave me one last OUT and I was afraid of the embarrassment even though I knew I shouldn’t go through with it).  So, yes….I didn’t listen and I paid tremendous consequences for it.  But…..even still…..it isn’t the Scarlet Letter!  No one should feel shame, rejection and judgment based on a divorce.

If you are going through it, have gone through it or will one day go through it just remember…..Divorce does not define you; in some ways it might free you.  Sometimes, like in my case, divorce wasn’t the end; it was the beginning.  Healing can come……


Until next time……..

A Heart of Humble Joy

What is joy?  Can you really have it in spite of difficulties in your life?  Can you really CHOOSE joy; is it truly a feeling or something you can willfully make happen even when you don’t feel it inside?  These are questions I have asked myself many times and I don’t have answers except for the way I see it in my own life.  There are times I am just absolutely plain sad.  The kind of sadness that is all consuming; grieving; in a pit that I can’t climb out of kind of sadness.  There are times where I feel okay even though circumstances are not.  Then there are times when things are REALLY hard and yet, I still have a smile on my face and there are times when we have a few moments of peace and things are really good.  In all of those circumstances though I have learned to find joy.  I don’t know if I would call it “choosing joy” I just find it and make the most of it. I choose every morning to get out of bed (even when I don’t want to).  I choose every day what I do that day, even if the day consists of cleaning, cooking, laundry and/or doctor appointments.  I choose what we eat for each meal and the groceries I shop for.  I choose if we go outside for a walk or never leave the house.  I make choices every day and in those choices I can either FIND joy in them or be disgruntle, angry, bitter and resentful.  So, finding joy in the mundane and hard is possible; I am living proof of it.

Do I succeed everyday by having a smile on my face?  NOPE!  Do I constantly walk around humming a tune?  NOPE!  (And for the record if I do hum or sing Hannah tells me “calm down mommy, no singing.”  Yes, it is that bad.  I was not gifted with the talent of carrying a tune).  Do I ever think my life is better than anyone else’s and others should be jealous of me…..ABSOLUTELY NOT!  But, what I do find is the joy woven in the challenges and difficulties of life.  Some days it is the smallest little joy like a hug or a big smile from Hannah, and other days I see multiple reasons to be joyful; but no matter what each day holds I find a way to have joy in my heart.

I don’t want to be bitter and resentful and full of anger.  I want to radiate joy in difficulties.  I want others to see that in spite of health issues for myself and my daughter, in spite of “being a prisoner in our home,” in spite of little to no socialization or outlet, in spite of the lack of sleep, in spite of constant headaches and pain…..that it is possible to still find joy in your circumstances.  I want my face to radiate Jesus’ love.  I want my eyes to sparkle with contentment.  I want my words to others to be kind, loving, sincere and full of grace.  I want my heart to be free of bitterness and resentment.  I am a work in progress and not always who I want to be or who God wants me to be but I certainly try.  I want a heart of humble joy and I truly feel that is what God is trying to shape and mold me into being.  Again, I am still a work in progress…….but I think remembering God’s grace is the key!

I read this today and it ministered to my heart.  Perhaps it will to you……

I wish I always carried it with me.  I wish it always shaped the way I look at life.

I wish it directed my desires.  I wish it was the natural inclination of my heart.

I wish remembering your boundless grace would silence my grumbling.  I wish my worship of you, my trust of you, my rest in you would drive away all compliant.

If my heart is ever going to be freed of grumbling and ruled by gratitude, I need your grace: grace to remember, grace to see, grace that produces

A HEART OF HUMBLE JOY

By:  Paul David Tripp, New Morning Mercies

In case you need a little joy in your heart, this SMILE sure is infectious and joyful to me!

Until next time…….

Navigating the Unknown and Dealing With Brokenness

I haven’t written a blog post in awhile.  Mainly due to the fact that I haven’t had time or the ability to put into words all that is happening in our life.  Sometimes life is just.plain.hard and all you can do is just deal with your circumstances alone.  We have had a lot on our plates; in all reality since last May when I got sick.  When I got sick a year ago everything just got more difficult.  I did finally get a diagnosis back in the fall but I haven’t spoken much about it because I am just not ready to and sometimes keeping it in makes it easier.  I don’t want people feeling sorry for me or constantly asking me about it.  I am navigating the unknown and don’t have answers to most questions that other people have….heck, I don’t have the answers to the questions I have, so I have chosen, for now, to keep most of it to myself.

You see, I have enough on my plate with Hannah and her health issues and frankly, she is the utmost importance to me.  Sharing her life and her journey is way more important than talking about mine.  There is so much going on with her that even though I know I have to take care of me; she is and always will be my priority.  She has so much going on right now.  The month of May has literally been one doctor appointment after another.  In fact, she has a 1:45 appointment today.  She is having a plethora of new and different issues and new medications have been added by her Cardiologist.  On May 29th she is having a procedure to try and figure out why she has significant hearing loss.  She will have some things done under anesthesia to hopefully give us some answers.  We are also working on something I haven’t talked about but are waiting to see if we get accepted into a Pediatric Diagnostic Program that will take us away out of Florida for awhile; but if we get in this program we have to go as it might be the only way we get answers.  Plus, the fact that Dennis is RETIRING this year and his next job search is underway…..well……it has been a busy year full of different emotions.  Navigating the unknown right now is our family motto!  HA!

Now onto the next thing……..

Something that I have thought a lot about lately is brokenness and how we deal with it.  I don’t always handle that “broken” feeling well.  But, I do believe even though you feel pain and brokenness for whatever reason you can extend grace to others and be kind.  I have come across people in my life who are so unkind and mean.  They are bullies and are selfish and unkind to others and it hit me that when they are vicious towards you, it has to do with them and the pain they are carrying.  I saw this not too long ago and it spoke volumes to me:

People who are hurting tend to hurt others because their pain is so deep.  I don’t want to be that person.  I want to love others even through my pain and brokenness.  I want others to see that you can still experience joy in the midst of sorrow.  That you can still wear a smile on your face even when your heart is shattered.  No matter what you have gone through or are going through you can do it without hurting others in the process.  Life is hard for everyone at times and if you disagree with that then you are living under a rock.  But, how we deal with it and treat others through our own heartaches speak volumes to our own heart and character.  I don’t want my hurt to cause me to hurt others….instead I want to love others through their hurts because I know what an aching, grieving heart feels like.

Life is hard….PERIOD!  But, how we deal with those hard moments (for some of us years) is what others see.  I want my heart to be soft toward other people’s pain and heartaches.  I want to take my difficulties and help others instead of treating them so awful.  I can’t say my heart is always pure and loving; but I do my best to make sure that no matter how I am treated that I never treat others in a bad way.  Hurt, brokenness, heartache, grief; those are all awful feelings but you can take those things and turn them into something healing and beautiful.  Helping others and loving others through their heartaches and brokenness helps give purpose for your own.  That is how I see it anyway…..I have had people walk incredibly difficult journey’s with me and many of those people have done it with grace, kindness and love BECAUSE of their own heartache and pain.  Sometimes our circumstances are different but the pain is the same.  I am so thankful for those who have chosen to walk difficult journey’s with me in grace and love.  I am thankful for those despite their own brokenness, hurt, pain, grief and sorrow who have loved on me and treated me with kindness and respect.  Those are the people I want to surround myself with.  Those who take their own pain and turn it into purpose.  I am so thankful for those in my life who have chosen to heal and not hurt.

Until next time……..

The Well……Face-to-Face With Jesus

This blog post is a little different from most but I wanted to write this out as I believe there is so much we could take from this……

Friday night I went to First Baptist Church’s Passion Play.  It was different from years before as it centered around a Well in Jerusalem….yes, just a Well of water but the way the story was written and the way it wove modern-day and 2,000 years ago together was simply amazing.  The other part of this story that I loved was how it was centered around women.  My friend Kerri put it perfectly….The New Passion Play was amazing. I love how it told the truth of the death and resurrection of Jesus and also showed how Jesus was and is the ultimate defender of Women. Jesus, the ultimate defender of women!  I love that.  Growing up we didn’t hear much about women in the Bible; especially the New Testament.  I mean, we all know who Mary is but there wasn’t a lot of emphasis on women.  I kinda laugh because I grew up in a “man’s world” and times have changed (thankfully in a lot of ways) and The Well was totally told from a woman’s perspective, with women in mind but in a way that spoke to both men, women and children.  I am not a movie or show critic but let me try to explain how the story went and how it impacted me in my own life:

The story starts in 2019 (present day) and 4 lifelong friends are taking a girls trip to Jerusalem.  Interwoven in the story you find out that each one of those friends are struggling with issues in their life…..one searching for love and acceptance in man, one trying her best to be the best in her job/work performance, one is struggling through marriage and difficulties surrounding her husband’s infidelity and one you find out has cancer (but this remains quiet until the end).  Jill, the one who has cancer is the one who planned this trip and is using this trip to bring her friends to Christ and share with them that nothing they go through is a surprise to Him and He can bear their burdens.  She is telling them Christ is better than any good they can ever have on earth.  The story then shows women from the Bible who have similar experiences in life (they all gather together at The Well to share their stories).  It was eye-opening to see these Biblical women whose lives weren’t much different from present day women and how Jesus impacted the women then as much as He does today.  The only difference is, the women from the Bible saw Him and the women of today rely on faith!

The women from the Bible and the women of today. Amazing talent right here….

The thing that hit me the most personally was I saw so much of myself in these women (trying hard to please everyone, difficulties in life, looking for love and acceptance, health issues). It also reminded me of my friendships growing up.  There were 4 of us, always together.  Misti, Whitney, Angie and me.  We met as young babies/children at First Baptist Church. We grew up together.  The 3 of them went to the same school but we were always together at church and church activities.  Even after high school we were together a lot.  We were at each other’s weddings, went through the births of our children, they walked the road of divorce with me and this entire journey with Hannah.  Then, we all rallied around Angie when she received her cancer diagnosis and walked that journey with her.  Unfortunately, for us, Angie’s journey ended on earth back in November of 2012.  The night before the Lord called Angie home; Whitney, Misti and I gathered around her hospital bedside with her family to say our goodbyes.  I, personally refused….I said, “see you soon my sweet friend.”  But, it wasn’t until this passion play that I visualized what my words meant and the glory that Angie faced the moment she took her last breath here on earth.  Let me explain…..

Me, Angie, Whitney and Misti

You see, after the Passion Play played out with Jesus’ death and resurrection the modern-day part of the play opened back up at a cemetery.  Jill, the friend who planned the trip had died.  She knew on their girls trip to Jerusalem that her cancer had returned but she never said anything.  In this scene the 3 friends sat around on a bench at the cemetery talking about Jill and the impact she had made on their lives and how she pointed them all to Christ.  You see, nearly 7 years ago, I sat with Misti and Whitney and we had a very similar discussion about Angie.  But, what we didn’t see play out was Angie’s face-to-face meeting with her Savior!  On stage, that night, I saw it play out with Jill but all I could think of was Angie.  As the girls sang about what Jesus had done for them you see Jill running into Jesus’ arms and embracing Him.  You see Him take her by the hand and lead her up to Heaven surrounded by angels.  You see Jill bowing down and worshipping her Savior as she sang that she has seen Jesus face-to-face.

Now, y’all…..I LOST IT!  That ending scene WRECKED ME!  I mean, I know what I envisioned Angie’s Heavenly entrance looking like but seeing it……on stage…..left me speechless.  Just to top it off one of the angels on stage that night was ANGIE’S daughter Kaylee!  Kaylee is 15 years old now and the epitome of grace and faith.  I have watched her and her brothers go through their mother’s tragic death that could have destroyed them.  Instead, through their faith and the guidance of wonderful family members and church family I have watched those sweet children grow to love Jesus; knowing Angie would be so very proud.  She loved her babies and her greatest fear in death was leaving them behind.  I like to think there is a way for her to see them and see what amazing young people they are today.  Both her boys (Connor and Christian) were in the Passion Play as well; along with their amazing step-mom and their dad worked behind the scenes.

Watching this Passion Play took a story from so long ago and brought it into 2019!  I took so much away from this.  It helped heal my heart some from losing Angie because how can I not be happy for her and what she experienced meeting her Savior face-to-face?  I will always miss her.  She was the person I called when I needed wisdom in life.  She was the one who gently scolded me when I screwed up (which was the majority of my 20’s).  She was the one who never judged me and loved me and pointed me to Christ from the moment I met her until the moment Jesus called her home.  This weekend, my heart healed ever so slightly after 7 years of asking God why.  Why did He take Angie of all people?  Why didn’t He take me instead?  Why did He take this precious mom away from her children and family?  The answer……so His grace and mercy could be shown even more.   You see, through Angie’s death she has made a lasting impact on others.  In life, Angie was a faithful follower of Christ, a loving wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.  In death, because of the way she lived her life she continues to be a testimony of faith through her children and family.  Her faithful legacy and love for Christ lives on even today.  You see, in death, God still is using her and I know my friend wouldn’t want it any other way.  Plus, the perk for her is she has seen Jesus face-to-face.

Until next time……..