I wrote this on Wednesday night (7/18) at midnight. I didn’t publish it as it wasn’t the right time but now it is. Rest in Peace Grandma. I know Grandpa was waiting for you and so happy to be reunited with you. Hug him for me and I will see you both soon!
I am sitting here alone by my Grandma’s bedside. I am literally watching her die. She is unresponsive but still here. I have sung to her (she probably wishes I had not done that), read the Bible to her, talked to her. I have held her hand and told her Grandpa and Jesus were waiting for her and it was okay to let go.
Imminent death and death puts life in a whole new perspective. Life is fleeting. We need to embrace it no matter the journey we are on. Life is precious. ALL life is precious. Some have life for just a few hours, days or years while others like my Grandma have had many years (almost 96 for her). None of us are guaranteed tomorrow so clinging to and holding tight to each day is important.
Things I have learned:
- Forgive…..don’t let petty arguments or differences stand in your way. Forgive those who have wronged you. It is more about you than them.
- Accept others apologies……don’t hold grudges, bitterness or resentment in your heart……that only hurts you BUT allow yourself the ability to move on from toxic people in your life. Sometimes you just have to move on, let people go and not look back. Forgive but move on…..it is okay to do that; sometimes even necessary for your own heart, soul and sanity. I have learned this again just recently.
- Love Others……you truly don’t know the struggle in other peoples lives. Sometimes an act of love can do so much for someone’s heart.
- Give of yourself. Minister to others. Care more about others than you do yourself. Don’t be selfish and self-centered.
- Life is too precious to waste on things that don’t matter. Make each day count.
- Be kind……always! You never know the hell someone else is living (even if they don’t show it on the outside).
- Laugh a lot; it is true that laughter is good medicine.
- Throw a smile at someone…..it might just make their day.
- Dance and sing (even if you are like me and possess NO dancing or singing ability).
- Tell your loved ones how you feel about them before it is too late.
- Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath……put aside anger. It is not worth it.
- Agree to disagree
- Be strong, resilient and tough. Don’t let anyone walk all over you…..you are no one’s doormat; but be compassionate, kind and loving. Interesting mix there but doable.
- Share Jesus with everyone you meet not only in words but in actions and deeds! Actions truly speak louder than words!
I don’t know how much time my Grandma has left. She is a tough, stubborn and strong-willed woman (always has been) and she is proving it again even now. She is doing this her way even still and that truly makes me laugh because if you knew my Grandma you would know this is just like her. Live, laugh and love……that is my new motto. Everything else just doesn’t matter.
Grandma lost her fight with life about 1am this morning (July 30, 2018). She fought hard for 18 days. She loved life and clung onto it dearly until the Lord called her home. I like to envision my Grandpa waiting there with Jesus at the pearly gates to welcome her home. See you soon Grandma…..
Until next time………