Have you ever just sat down and thought about your younger self and what you would say to that person if you could turn back the hands of time? I am a firm believer that with age comes wisdom and there is so much I would love to tell the younger me if I could just go back and tell her then what I know now. I follow Her View From Home on FB and this popped up on my page this morning. It went hand-in-hand with the thoughts in my mind so I thought, time to write about it.
Ahhhhh, SLOW DOWN! Don’t be in a hurry to grow up. Don’t be in a rush to have that first boyfriend or graduate high school. Enjoy your youth because once you are an adult you have to ADULT…..and in so many ways the responsibilities are not fun.
Cast the first smile…..I love this one. I have learned the older I have gotten that a smile is so easy and can mean so much to someone else.
Spend less money on things and more money on travel! Things fade but memories and pictures are forever. I will also add that if you have the opportunity to go and live somewhere else….DO IT! I had the chance to live in NYC in my early 20’s and I didn’t do it and I regret that decision so much. Even if it had only been for a year…..I should have done it to say I did and have the experience but I let fear stand in my way. That leads me to my next point…..
FEAR….don’t let it hold you back! BE BRAVE…..be courageous…..have dreams and do what it takes to make them happen. If you don’t do it while you are young, you probably never will.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I am finally starting to learn this myself (it has only taken 47 years). In life we all need help sometimes…..don’t let pride swallow you up and keep you from reaching out to someone for help.
Friendships……this is a tough one. Even at 47 years of age I struggle. I have dear friends, whom I love, but I am really bad at being intentional about connecting with friends and doing things….even just having a conversation. This day and age of social media is great but also a downfall. You can shoot someone a text, FB message or make an Instagram post or FB post and BOOM that is all you have to do. There are no phone calls made or letters/cards written anymore. I am trying so hard to be better about just being intentional and more personal. But, it is so hard. It isn’t about the amount of friends and support you have; but instead the quality of those friends. I have learned this the hard way. There are not many people who TRULY know me; because my lack of trust has kept me from really putting myself out there with friendships. I can probably count on one hand the number of people who know “too much” about me! HA! I am very selective who I share the intimate details of my life with. I know that might come as a shock to my readers. Most people think I am a totally open book but I am not…..I do reserve so much and keep so much bottled up that sometimes it hurts. There are things I don’t even express to Dennis……
Compliments…..give them and receive them. People need to hear the good things about them. Listen up dads and husbands…..your kids and wives need to hear they are handsome/beautiful. They need to hear you are proud of them. They need to hear how thankful you are for them. They need to hear that they are WORTHY! They need to be validated in life and they need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will always love them no matter what. I am going to say this too……if your child has disappointed you or hurt you due to lifestyle choices, job choices, college choices, relationship choices…..whatever the case may be…..LOVE them anyway. Support them, encourage them, love them, pray for them but never, never, never turn your back on them. I cannot fathom how parents (even though devastated) can turn their back on their child. Love them through the pain, sorrow, fear, loneliness and bad choices. We all made them…..I had plenty of bad choices (practically my whole 20’s was a series of bad choices) but my parents loved me through it all even though I know I broke their hearts more than once.
Husbands……you might not know it, but your wife, even though she is surrounded by people (you, kids, perhaps a job, neighbors, friends)….she might be really lonely. Pay attention to her. Acknowledge her need to get away and regroup, refocus and refresh. As a mom/caregiver I get burnt out so quickly. I need time to just step away and I know other moms feel like this too. News flash men…..it isn’t “babysitting” your kids so your wife can get away. It is doing YOUR part! You helped create that child…..they are as much your responsibility as they are hers. It irritates me to hear that a man is “babysitting” his kid for his wife to go out. NO…..you are pulling your fair share! I am thankful my husband sees this and does it. Trust me, if you are a parent of a child with special needs you get what I am fixing to say…..a man’s fair share in parenting a special needs child is FAR MORE than you can ever imagine. If you knew what Dennis had to do when I was not here…..well, most men would runaway. Keep in mind Hannah is 13 years old but she does VERY LITTLE by herself and for herself. We still take her to the bathroom and bathe her. We give her a plethora of medications 3 times per day. She doesn’t ask for food or drink….we HAVE to monitor her fluid and food intake so we know she is getting what she needs to survive. She has NO fear and we have to watch her like a hawk. It is a full-time job and one that I don’t think many men would be able to handle the way Dennis does. I pray he knows the wonderful caregiver he is to Hannah.
This picture I posted says “Apologize less.” I agree with that in regards to being YOU and not apologizing for who you are. Be strong and confident…..of course, on the flip side don’t be afraid or too proud to apologize if you wrong someone.
Be in the photo…..YES, YES, and YES! Of course I have no problem with this but so many do. Who cares if your makeup is not right or your hair isn’t perfect…..take those pictures. Be real….be authentic….be YOU!
Embrace and own the quirks that make you “weird or different.” You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I am “different.” I see it in myself. I am not quick-witted and I can be socially awkward in a sense. I am not “cool” or part of the “in crowd.” I never have been. BUT, I AM ME! There is nothing wrong with walking to the beat of a different drum. I have done it all my life. I have severe OCD….I am just really acknowledging that. I can look back over my childhood and see now what I didn’t see then. There are things that just make me different and somewhat awkward and strange but it is okay. It is who I am and who God made me to be. I have zero talent….well, except I can play the piano but that is it and I am really rusty and don’t do it as well as I used to. I cannot sing….heck, I cannot carry a tune in a bucket. I cannot dance. I have zero…..I mean zero rhythm. I cannot act…..but…..you know what I am? I am a child of God. I am a wife to Dennis. I am a mom to Hannah. I am a phenomenal housekeeper. I am a good cook. I am a woman who loves people, my friends and my family. I am a woman of prayer. I am really good at shopping (HA). Do you know how hard it is to write the good things about yourself? Try it though and accept what you are good at, embrace those things and build on those things. God has given each of us unique gifts. Take what He has given to you and be okay with that! Don’t try to be someone else.
Be YOU. YOU are enough. YOU are worthy. YOU are special. YOU are created perfectly in the image of God. YOU are LOVED!
Until next time………