Let me preface this blog post with the following:
I am showing no disrespect to my parents writing this. This is in jest, but there is truth woven into it. I want to make sure before you read this, that my parents know me and know that even though I am making fun of them (in a way) that I love them dearly. With that said, sit back and enjoy!
Watching your parents age is not fun in a lot of ways. It is true what they say…..once an adult, twice a child. I am afraid my brother and I are entering the terrible two’s with my parents……some things I have noticed….
- Old(er) people become pack rats and clutter-mongers (if that is even a thing, I am almost certain I just made up a new word). There is not an empty spot on my parent’s dining room table or countertops. It is filled with bottles, cups, paperwork, pens, medicine organizers, mail, an iPad…..etc.
- There are multiple pairs of reading glasses laying everywhere
- There are candy dishes on every table in the house…..who is eating this stuff…..it is just the 2 of them and the cat…..I swear, one of the candy dishes has andes chocolate mints in it that have to be 14 years old.
- Let’s talk area rugs…..what is it with area rugs? Cleaning my mom’s house yesterday I spent more time shaking off and vacuuming area rugs than I did the rest of the flooring. I don’t understand area rugs all over the house. Do we really need area rugs on top of carpet? Perhaps they do, just a question in my mind that I would like answered. Oh and while on the subject of area rugs…..if you are going to have them, don’t use the ones that your mother had in your home when you were growing up 75 years ago…..K?
- There are multiple towels on the cloth sofa covering every spot so the cat won’t leave fur on the furniture. There is also a towel on the bed in the guest room where the cat lays in the afternoon sun. Let’s be real…..there is cat hair EVERYWHERE, the sofa and bed are not the only place sweet Simon lays his very weary head……
- Plants, gobs of live plants on the back patio……no one ever goes out there except to water the dang plants……or the cat goes out there and eats the plants and then vomits on the carpet.
- Pictures……tons of pictures in frames on every square inch of every surface…….some are pictures of people I don’t even know. Perhaps they are the pictures that came in the frames?
- Bathrobes…..I think my mom has 37 bathrobes; yet I have never seen her wear one!
- They live in Florida……I think I counted 29 coats that my dad has. They leave their air on 80 degrees. I get heat stroke each time I am in their house. I may or may not turn their thermostat down to 70 degrees when I am there. They (especially dad) are always freezing. How? Again, they live in the hottest state in the USA and they make sure their home is hotter than any home in the USA!
- The glasses in the kitchen and towels in the kitchen I do believe were purchased before I was born (I am 46 years old).
- Let’s not even talk about the disposable butter, sour cream, cottage cheese, and yogurt containers that have been washed and stored in the kitchen cabinets. In fact, I would venture to say there are more of those type containers in the kitchen than any other kind of container, serving dish or plate!
- They (especially the old man) are so worried about money. He is afraid that there isn’t enough to take care of he and mom in their “golden years.” I hate to inform him that they reached their “golden years” about 25 years ago…..but I digress. He is so worried…..like my brother and I are just going to feed him to the wolves if his money runs out (which I can guarantee you, it won’t). He is so worried about paying for a housekeeper (which they need)….although the “free” maid they have (ummmm, ME) is by far the better choice in their eyes. Not that I do any better of a job…..just that I do it for free! Dad keeps saying, “I want to make sure I leave you kids some money.” My brother and I have both responded on numerous occasions….”it is your money, you earned it, go spend it.” A housekeeper would be a great place to start! HA!
- DIETS…..okay, my mom and dad are ALWAYS on a diet. I have never known 2 people more worried about their weight than they are. They both weigh themselves daily…..it’s like the scale is going to change drastically one way or another in a 24-hour period of time. Of course, this takes me back to the bullet points about candy…..in dishes…..all over the house! WHY?
- Mom informed me yesterday that she and dad want to go to Nashville the week between Christmas and New Year’s……they both hate cold weather, they neither one like country music; in fact dad hates ALL music, they don’t drink, party or go to bars (hello downtown Nashville that is about all there is to do). They don’t care about museums (at least country music ones) and dad refuses to pay more than $49.99 per night for a hotel. I am just guessing here (actually it is a well-educated guess) but Nashville is not for Pat and Jerry.
- They love cats. Dad won’t admit it but he loves cats…..all cats…..especially his cat Simon. They talk to the cat. Simon talks back. They laugh. They find him funny. Simon is a toddler trapped in a 13-year-old cat’s body. They treat him like their child. They co-sleep with the cat. The cat lives a life of luxury and they wouldn’t have it any other way. Simon is probably inheriting everything. Simon is loved.
- Mom and dad both still work……dad full time; mom nearly full-time. WHY you ask? I have no clue…….I can’t answer this question. I can’t wrap my head around this question. Retire already people! Of course I have tried telling them that (especially when mom got sick in August). Did they listen? Nope, nada, negative……they are stubborn. Both of them are!
- Stubborn…..oh that is a crazy gene. Yes, I said stubborn was a gene. Both their mama’s had it and now both of them have it and most likely my brother and I will be impossible to deal with when we hit our “golden years.” Thanks mom and dad……
Again, there is lots of truth woven into this but I did take liberties to poke fun. With this all said……I am thankful I still have my parents even though their recent toddler stage is going to do me in (more with worry than anything else). I am sure there might be more stories to tell in the coming days, months and years……for now enjoy some pictures of the “Old People.”
Now to prove their love (especially dad’s) of cats:
Until next time………