A New Beginning

This whole motherhood journey is either going to make me or break me.  To be honest, the last 6 months has almost broken me.  Dealing with Hannah’s tummy issues, health issues and this new and “not-so-improved” attitude of hers is about to drive me insane and if you ask Dennis, that is a VERY short drive!

Oh.my.goodness…..Hannah is really coming into this little independent, stubborn, my-way-or-the-highway, I-will-do-it-myself diva!  When I say diva, I mean it!  She wants what she wants when she wants it and by-golly, she better get it!  HA!  The problem Hannah has though is her independent, stubborn, my-way-or-the-highway, I-will-do-it-myself diva of a mother……..can you see the problem here?

I truly LOST MY MIND with her last night and yelled at her at the dinner table.  Of course, that got hers and Dennis’ attention.  I am sure Hannah was thinking…..”me, you yelling at me, what did I do.”  I can say that because of  the immediate confused yet angelic look on her face that gave her thought process away.  As for Dennis….I can imagine he was thinking…..”yep, it has officially happened…..she has lost her mind.”  I am sure he has a mental health facility already programmed in his cell phone ready to be called at a moments notice.  After my tirade…..I cried…..of course Hannah then kept telling me to “be happy” and Dennis just looked like he wanted to run from the table, out the door, drive away in his car and never look back.

I wish I could chalk all this up to hormones or “being a woman,” but honestly……motherhood has done this to me!  I  never in a million years dreamed just how difficult this job would really be.  Heck, my mom made it look so easy and to be honest most of the mothers I know make it look so easy.  I sure wish some of you people would tell me what it is you are doing right that I am doing wrong.  I don’t know if it is because Hannah has special needs that makes it more difficult or seriously that I am doing something wrong; but geez……this is insane!  Working a full-time job was ALOT easier than this mothering business!  I laugh at people who say “I don’t remember what life was like before kids.”  My response to that is, “oh holy heck, I remember and LIFE WAS GOOD!”  I don’t know if people don’t want you to see what raising a child really looks like or if I am doing it wrong……but, I will just say it is hard work!  Nevertheless, it is the path that God chose for me; so no matter how difficult it is, I will push through and Hannah and I will survive……hopefully!  HA!

As hard as it is……I am trying to take each day for what it is.  I am trying to wake up every morning with a clean slate.  At the end of the day, no matter how difficult the day has been; I still want to be able to laugh and enjoy my family.  I want to lay my head on my pillow and know that “tomorrow is another day” and that we start off each day “new.”  I think this is something that I have lost sight of over the last year.  I forgot how to laugh.  I forgot how to have fun.  I forgot to start over.  I am trying to do that now.  Yes, sometimes life just sucks……sometimes you wish you could crawl back in bed and start over.  Well, the fact is, you can.  Every night when you go to bed you get to look forward to a new day, a fresh start and a new beginning.  So, that is what this blog post is about…..A New Beginning.  I am vowing to take each day for what it is…..good or bad; it is just a day and tomorrow will be “NEW.”  I am thinking that is truly the only way to live.  I am having to live one day at a time.  With Hannah, I can’t plan because the moment I do those plans fall through and unravel.  So, why not just be happy every morning knowing that no matter what the day holds it will come to an end and you can look forward to another new beginning.  I am liking this concept…….so, here is to New Beginnings and fresh starts each and everyday!

Until next time………

Germs

I strongly dislike germs……in fact, I downright hate them!  It seems if there is a germ going around it is going to attach itself to Hannah and hold on for dear life!  I am almost convinced that if we are around anyone that just sneezes and they aren’t “contagious” Hannah is still going to get sick!  I know what you are thinking…..and yes, I AM PARANOID!

We were traveling home from Georgia on Sunday afternoon when it hit her!  I could hear the congestion in her nose and throat and just “knew.”  Dennis didn’t quite believe me, but as soon as we got home and I took her temperature, it was confirmed.  Mom’s just know these things!  I can usually spot illness a mile away and somehow just “know” that it is fixing to hit!  So, today we are on Day 3 1/2…..I have had to keep her home from school and I hate it as she just has this week and 4 days next week until summer break.  Unfortunately, when Hannah gets sick, it is never quick!  She hasn’t run fever so far today, so I am hoping that will continue and maybe she can go to school tomorrow…..as with anything in my life though, we will play it by ear……I am truly learning that I cannot plan anything!  HA!

Yesterday, we did go sit out by the pool, I thought the vitamins from the sun might be good for her and frankly I have a really good tan going and I don’t want to miss my hour in the sun each day!  HA!  So, I laid there while she played in the shade with a bucket of water, her shovel and measuring cups.  I wouldn’t let her get in the pool as it is still rather chilly, but she was perfectly content to sit there and play on the deck.  Henny, on the other hand opted to stay indoors…..that dog loves the air conditioning!  HA!

Well, that is what our week has looked like.  I know it could be worse, so I am just thankful that I get to stay home with Hannah and take care of her.  Being a stay-at-home mom definitely has its advantages, especially with a child that gets sick quite often!

Until next time………

Ignorance, Stupidity and Just Plain Hatred

I was actually going to blog about a completely different subject today but then I read this article and decided that I needed to address this.  There is a special place in hell reserved for people like Larry Flynt.  The article is copied below.

I don’t care how you feel about Sarah Palin; if you love her or hate her.  I personally LOVE her and agree with everything she stands for.  But, this isn’t a political post.  It is about crossing the line.  Larry Flynt has done just that by attacking Sarah and Todd Palin’s little boy Trig.  You can disagree with someone’s politics, heck, you can even dislike a person but when you cross that line and viciously and verbally attack an innocent child it just shows where your moral fiber is and Larry Flynt has no morals, no values and certainly NO HEART!

If you read the article you will see that he called Trig a “brain-dead virtual vegetable” and that he is “retarded” and “somewhat alive.”  He goes on to say that Sarah only gave birth to Trig so she could say that she didn’t have an abortion and that she did a disservice to every woman in America!  I am appalled by his lack of care, his lack of integrity, his lack of character and his harsh and yet VERY inaccurate understanding of Down Syndrome.

I would be irate having read this even if I didn’t have a child with Down Syndrome, but being that I do, I cannot even begin to describe to you the anger that I have right now.

My Hannah is the most loving, energetic, sweetest and happiest child I know.  She is not a “vegetable” and she is certainly not “retarded” or “somewhat alive.”  She lives each day to the fullest; unlike most people.  She is so smart…..she does everything a child her age does, it is just at a slower rate and she has more personality in her little finger than I have in my whole body!  The sad thing is if she met Larry Flynt (which I wouldn’t allow to happen by the way) she would open her arms to him and hug him.  I, on the other hand, would reach my fist out and slug him and most likely put my knee somewhere else!  Can you tell I am angry?

I am so sick of the Larry Flynt’s of this world.  One of my friends on Facebook had the right idea…..she didn’t even read the article as she could tell by the title that it would infuriate her!  But, I read it and yes, I am sharing it with my blog readers, so read at your own risk.

My Hannah has done more in her life for the good than Larry Flynt could ever dream of doing…..what is his claim to fame, but porn!  Yea, a real winner in my book!  He might be filthy rich monetarily, but my Hannah is rich in life, love and joy!  I would choose what Hannah has any day over what Larry Flynt has……his riches will one day be gone and I am sure the devil has one of the hottest places in hell reserved for him……God help you Larry Flynt for your spewing of evil and venom!

Article below and I better shut up now before I type too much of what is going through my head…..as I have said before…..I tend to “speak” or in this case “type” what I think as soon as I think it!

Until next time………

Larry Flynt Calls Trig Palin “Brain Dead Virtual Vegetable”

by Steven Ertelt | London, England | LifeNews.com | 5/27/11 11:41 AM

Sarah Palin’s son Trig is in the news again following the liberal blog Wonkette bashing her and saying her son, who has Down Syndrome, is “retarded” and “somewhat alive.” Now Hustler publisher Larry Flynt has gotten in on the attacks.

Flynt is no stranger to controversial comments over the years as the head of the soft-core pornographic magazine and a free speech advocate, but his comments about Sarah Palin’s son may be some of the most over-the-top remarks he’s made to date.

In a new interview with the London Independent newspaper, Flynt rambled from topic to topic until he settled on Palin, who is considering whether to run for the Republican nomination for president this year.

“Sarah Palin is the dumbest thing. But I made a fortune off of her. [He made a porn film called Nailin’ Palin, based on her],” he said.

Then, he went after Trig, saying, “She did a disservice to every woman in America. She knew from the first month of pregnancy that kid was going to be Down’s Syndrome. It’s brain dead. A virtual vegetable.”

Flynt followed up on the Wonkette theme — that Palin is supposedly exploiting Trig by having him with her at some political events — by saying, “She carries it to all these different political events against abortion, she did it just because she didn’t want to say she’d had an abortion. How long is it going to live? Another 12, 15 years? Doesn’t even know it’s in this world.”

“So what kind of compassionate conservative is she? I don’t think anybody will want her near the White House,” Flynt added.

The London Independent reporter, Johann Hair, was left speechless: “I am so thrown by the unpleasantness of all this I don’t even interject.”

UPDATE: Flynt has responded on Twitter to criticism of his comments following this LifeNews.com story: “What I said is true. She knew that baby was Downs Syndrome. If she thought it would be something heroic or courageous to have this child, it’s her decision but I think she’s an idiot. I’m not ashamed of my statement.”

In its attack on Palin and her disabled son, the Wonkette post commented on his birthday and said, “What’s he dreaming about? Nothing. He’s retarded. His mom went to a lot of trouble to leak amniotic fluid over 8 states to make sure that he arrived in this world somewhat alive.

The Wonkette story prompted a massive conservative backlash on Twitter and calls for major advertisers to pull their advertising. Several companies such as Papa Johns, Huggies and Vanguard dropped their ads and others soon followed suit.

Wonkette eventually removed the post and issued a tepid apology and the writer, Jack Steuf, has left the blog.

ACTION: You can send your comments to Larry Flynt at https://twitter.com/ImLarryFlynt

Best.Dog.Ever

Thank you Jill for taking these AWESOME pictures while we were in Team Training at CCI!  I LOVE these and I hope you don’t mind me sharing a few!  Hannah’s face still looks like this EVERYDAY when she sees Henny.  The first words out of Hannah’s mouth each morning are “Hey Henny” and then they kiss and hug!  Henny has done more for our family than I could EVER relay in words!  Thank you CCI staff, trainers, volunteers and especially Marty and Cathy, for raising Henny to be the BEST.DOG.EVER!  You all hold a VERY special place in our hearts!

Hugs for Henny

Hugs for Henny

Oh Henny, you make the BEST pillow!

Oh Henny, you make the BEST pillow!

Our Team Picture

Our Team Picture

Until next time………

 

 

If Heaven Had A Phone

Today is just one of those blah days.  It began with Hannah waking up on the “wrong side of the bed”…..let’s just call her Miss Grouchy today.  I will add obstinate, stubborn and Priss-pot to that as well.  Oh my…..I have NEVER been so happy to drop her off at school as I was today!  HA!

On my way home, the blah’s hit.  I have so much to be thankful for.  Heck, I came home, did a few things (laundry, non-profit letters, checked Facebook, washed dishes) and then I put on my bathing suit and went out back by the pool.  So, yes…..at least I didn’t have to drag my grumpy, blah self to a job!

But, there are days that I wish I could pick up the phone and call a few people.  Today, I wish I could call Heaven and talk to my friend Angie.  She left this world in November and in some ways it still feels like yesterday and in other ways it feels like it has been years.  There are no words to describe how much I miss her.  I miss our “girls nights out” and our chats on the phone and texting!  Oh.my.word, what I would do to just text her!  She was “my person” and had been for 40 years!  For 40 years, she was my friend, my confidante, my encourager and when I needed a swift kick in the you-know-what, she always was there to do it!  HA!  I needed a few swift kicks over the years!  On days like this, I just miss her and wish I could pick up the phone and say hi!

It got me thinking about a few other people I wish I could talk to.  I SO miss my grandpa.  I miss hearing him say “hi doll.”  He was the happiest man I ever knew.  He would sing and hum all the time.  He always had a smile on his face and he never said a bad word or thing about anyone.  I like to think, since he and Angie knew each other that they hang out in Heaven chatting and laughing.

Then there is my Grandma Stapp and my Aunt Janie.  They were sisters and they were TOTAL opposites!  Much to my parents chagrin I AM my Aunt Janie!  Grandma Stapp was a sweet, quiet, laid back lady.  She was a school teacher for 44 years.  Never raised her voice and never had a harsh word to say.  She was so sweet, kind and loving!  Then, there was Aunt Janie……if you didn’t want her opinion about something you had better just not talk; because whether or not you wanted her opinion, she was gonna give it to you!  I always say, Aunt Janie would cuss you out one minute and then tell you Jesus loved you the next!  OH boy, do I miss that lady!  She loved the Lord, loved her family, loved her soap operas and loved her wine!  Yes, I got it from her!

The one thing that brings a smile to my face is knowing that all 4 of those people knew each other, loved each other and are together!  Grandpa (my mom’s dad) adored my Grandma (dad’s mom), Aunt Janie and Angie……so I like to picture them sitting around a table, eating dessert, drinking coffee (okay, Aunt Janie has a bottle of wine) and having alot of laughs, most likely caused by something that Aunt Janie said!  I know Heaven might not really look like that, but it sure makes me smile thinking it does.

After Grandpa passed away, I thought…..Okay, I think I am ready for Heaven……oh, but when I lost my dear friend Angie……I KNEW I was ready for Heaven!

I have to hang out here until the Good Lord calls me home, but I look forward to sitting around that table sharing Aunt Janie’s bottle of wine (although she probably won’t share and will make me get my own) and enjoying the company of those I miss so much!

Until next time………

 

CCI Graduation and Fun At Sea World

We were so excited to be invited to the May Graduation for Canine Companions.  Every May, the graduation is held at Sea World in Orlando and so we thought it would be a great time to take Hannah to Sea World and get to go to another graduation!  We love the CCI Graduations…..they are full of heart, full of love and in the words of one of the fabulous CCI trainers….they are “Exceptional Dogs for Exceptional People.”  I really like that!

We had a great time.  My mom and dad came with us to enjoy the graduation and spend the day with Hannah watching her enjoy Sea World.  Not only was  one of Hannah’s friends from school graduating with her Canine Companion in this class, but Henny’s Puppy Raisers are HUGE supporters of CCI and they were there.  We enjoyed seeing Dawn graduate and spending time with our “extended family,” Cathy and Marty.

Hannah has a strange love for fish, sharks and whales.  Her favorite movie is “Finding Nemo,” but her favorite parts of the movie are when the shark is trying to eat Nemo’s daddy and when the whale swallows Nemo’s daddy………very strange child I am raising.

She was mesmerized with the sharks in Shark Encounter, which we had to go through twice and LOVED all the killer whales at the Shamu Show.  She loves sharks so much, she told me that she wanted to “dig” with the sharks…..that means she wants to “swim” with the sharks.  She calls swimming, “digging.”  She also wanted to “cuddle” (hug) the sharks and killer whales.  I am quite concerned with her warped sense of what animals are “good” and “bad”…..she would probably try to “cuddle” a rattlesnake if given half a chance…..Ahhhhhh!  Anyway, she wanted to bring home a shark and since you can’t bring home a real one, my dad bought her the biggest, meanest looking shark he could find.  The shark has already “bitten” Henny several times…..oh, and she named the shark…..are you ready for this……”Bite.”  Yes, his name is “Bite” and he chases everyone around trying to live up to his name!

We had a great time.  We didn’t have time to do the whole park, but we did the things that were enjoyable to Hannah…..that is the most important thing, right?!?  I am glad that I packed Hannah a lunch as Sea World is not gluten/casein free friendly!  WOWZERS, if I hadn’t packed Hannah lunch we would have been up a creek without a paddle…..but, fortunately I am a planner (see sometimes my planning/organized/OCD self comes in handy).  She had a fabulous PB&J sandwich, potato chips, applesauce and fruit snack lunch all gluten and casein free!

Well, I guess that is enough rambling……here are some pictures from our Sea World adventure:

CCI Graduation at Sea World

CCI Graduation at Sea World

Dad and Hannah enjoying looking at the sharks.  This was about the time that she said she wanted to "dig" with the sharks and "cuddle" them!

Dad and Hannah enjoying looking at the sharks. This was about the time that she said she wanted to “dig” with the sharks and “cuddle” them!

Hello there Shamu!

Hello there Shamu!

Hannah was LOVING the Shamu show!

Hannah was LOVING the Shamu show!

Now, I will say that my “germaphobe” self was worse than usual……if Hannah survives this trip without getting sick; it will be NOTHING short of a miracle and me bathing her in PRAYER!  She touched everything (I went through about 50 Germ-X wipes) and she constantly kept putting her hands in her mouth……so, if you will…..pray with me that I don’t regret taking her to Sea World and being surrounded by billions and billions of germs…..pray she stays well.

On a completely different note……Henny did GREAT at Sea World, but she was nasty dirty so she got a major bath today.   She was not real happy with me, but she sure looks and smells SO much better!

Until next time…….

Randomness

I have been so busy this week that I haven’t had time to blog……by busy I mean the weather has been SO INCREDIBLY nice (no humidity and sunny) that I have HAD to be outside while Hannah was in school and since that is my “blogging time”……well, I have taken advantage of it.  I have been enjoying the outdoors before it gets too stifling hot out there.  Here is a picture of what the last couple of days have looked like for me!

This is the life!

This is the life!

As you can see……Henny has enjoyed it too!

On another note……this little girl brings me so much joy……nothing better than being her mama!

So happy

So happy

A dear friend of mine posted this on Facebook the other day and I couldn’t help but laugh…..I feel like this alot!  Sometimes it helps to laugh at your problems…..laughter is good medicine!

Light tunnel

Guess that is all the randomness for today…..it is time to put my princess to bed and catch up on the DVR since the hubby is working!

Until next time……..