It has only been 17 years ago today but in so many ways it seems that it has been a lifetime that Dennis and I stood before God, family and friends and took our wedding vows. Vows that seem SO real right now in many ways……
For better, for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live………those words, when we said them on a stormy Friday night 17 years ago were so easy to say because everything was better, richer and in health. Today, much of that has changed…..life and circumstances have literally turned our world and life as we know it upside down and news today made that roller coaster ride even harder. But, even though our life and circumstances have changed from those vows 17 years ago, I am so thankful that the love, commitment and devotion that we said those vows with remains strong and in tact.
For 17 years I have had this man beside me not only as my husband but as my best friend. In the happy times he makes me laugh and I keep him laughing as well (at me, not necessarily with me). In the hard times, he is my strength. In the sad times, he is my rock. In the times we aren’t happy with each other there is that underlying peace that no matter what, neither of us are going anywhere and we will work through whatever the issue is. He has defended me, protected me, loved me, and provided for me for 17 years. There is NOBODY I feel safer with and in this day and age that is an amazing feeling. I trust him completely and I know I am safe. My heart is safe. My feelings and emotions are safe. Heck, my anger is safe (can y’all believe I get angry?) HA! I can vent to him and tell him my deepest confidences knowing full well that he will never repeat it. When we had Hannah 13 years ago our world crashed down around us a lot…..a sick baby, 3 open-heart surgeries, many other surgeries, procedures, hospital stays, her now being immune compromised and she and I basically being stuck at home 24/7…..never once has he said to me…..”I don’t want to do this anymore.” Multiple times I have said to him, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Never once has he said, “I can’t do this.” Multiple times I have said, “I can’t do this.” Never once has he said, “I am angry at God.” Multiple times I have said, “I am angry at God.” Never once has he said, “I want to run away.” Multiple times I have said, “I want to run away.” You get the picture? He is my rock…..when I get defeated, battered down, worn…..he is the one who picks me up, encourages me and gives me the strength to carry on…..he and The Lord are the 2 people who have truly seen the good, bad and ugly in me and yet, they are both still here fighting for me and with me, pushing me, loving me and at times being my punching bags.
17 years…..if feels like a lifetime (in good and bad ways); but these past 17 years one person has been my constant. One person has seen and heard it all and trust me he has heard a lot (and some of it not very pretty). For 17 years I have had this man stand beside me through battles that most people will never face and carry me through many of them. He is strong, he is optimistic (where I am not), he is loving (that is not the word I would use to describe me), he is faithful, he is kind, he is compassionate……geez, I am typing all these words to describe him and I realize just how wonderful he is and how wonderful I am not…..I kinda suck! HA! You see, God knew I needed a man like Dennis……I am so thankful for these past 17 years because I have had an amazing man to go through this journey we call life with. What a life it has been and I am just thankful that he has stuck with me. No matter what, those vows we said all those years ago not only hold true today but have made us realize we are stronger together. Together with the Lord, there is nothing we have faced or will face in the future, that we can’t get through.
Happy Anniversary my love…..thank you for choosing me, vowing to love me no matter what, honoring me and fighting for me! I love you now and forever.
Until next time……..