My cousin texted me this week and said, “when it rains, it pours.” My response was “at this rate, I need to build an ark because it is flooding.”
What do I do when times are tough…..I write…..so that means you have to endure all my thought-sharing. Aren’t y’all lucky?
2018 has dealt us a hard blow……okay, let’s just be real; it hasn’t just been this year, it has been the past 4-5 years. Life has been so challenging but this year; well it hasn’t just been about hardships in life but extreme sadness, suffering and loss as well. In May we lost Dennis’ dad. Ten days later I got sick and have stayed that way. Not too long after that my grandma spent 18 days on her deathbed with an around the clock bedside vigil from our family until the Lord called her home. Then, unexpectedly (although she was in hospice care she was doing much better) we lost Dennis’ mom this past Monday. Wednesday morning at 7am I received a call from my dad that he found my perfectly healthy, energetic mom after she passed out in the shower and became unresponsive. She was rushed to the ER. She is still today (Sunday) in the hospital. Even though we have a better idea of what happened (she had a pulmonary embolism and passed out thus fracturing multiple vertebrae in her spine) she has a very long road to recovery. We are praying she gets transferred to a rehabilitation facility tomorrow or Tuesday. We will then lay my mother-in-law to rest on Tuesday and I will be meeting with my team of doctors for all my test results and hopefully a diagnosis after almost 4 months of not feeling well this Friday. Needless to say, life is just hard and keeps getting harder in so many ways.
I feel pulled in so many directions, weary and worn and yet through it all ONE thing remains……PEACE…..I cannot explain it except that The Lord promises to never leave us or forsake us, to sustain us and keep us in perfect peace and I feel all of those things.
Weary, worn, exhausted, lonely at times but at peace. HOW? BUT GOD! Only through Him do I continue to press on. I am thankful for a peace that passes all understanding. I am thankful for the promises God gives us and I am clinging to so many of those right now. God never promised that life would be easy; in fact He said in this world we would have tribulation (I do think some people seem to have more than others though, lol). I do know that NOTHING AND NO ONE can separate me from Christ and His love and goodness. His mercies are new every morning and right now, in this very moment I am thanking Him for our trials and tribulations because in those times of helplessness He is building us, growing us, and making us stronger, more resilient and in my case more determined to NEVER let the devil win! Yes, I am giving my self a “blogging pep talk.” HA! In all honesty I need to go to bed and really rest……I just needed to tell myself and maybe someone out there that no matter how hard life is you keep going, fighting and put one foot in front of the other until the storm and rain settles and God provides the rainbow you are praying for.
Prayers appreciated for my sweet mom………
Prayers appreciated for Dennis and our family…….
Until next time……..