I will admit it, the last 2 weeks or so I have had a pity party…..actually, kind-of still having it; but hopefully I am coming out on the other side now! We all have them, I don’t care who you are, we all get overwhelmed every now and then and feel sorry for ourselves (or in my case feel sorry for myself, my child and my husband). Yes, I encompass all 3 of us in my pity parties. I have learned a lot the past nearly 15 years of marriage and now nearly 11 years as being a mom. But, even through all the learning, the growing, the struggling; every now and again the pity party will hit and I will be in a slump. The thoughts of: “life is so unfair” or “life sucks” or “why can’t we be a normal family and do normal things” become my focus. It usually happens after a holiday. I guess Easter might have been my trigger on this one. But, I privately go through my pity party (usually Dennis doesn’t even know). I allow the stress and sadness to take over and then only after I start feeling physically ill, it dawns on me that I am the only one who can get me out of the slump….well, God first and then me deciding to regroup and focus on what is important. For the past 4-5 days I have been so nauseous; having to take 2-3 anti-nausea pills each day and this morning when I woke up sick to my stomach again, it hit me (see it takes me so long to catch onto things) that it isn’t that I am sick it is the self-induced stress I am under.
Self-induced stress…..it is real. Sometimes we don’t see it but so much of my stress is a direct result of my thought process. Yes, there is stress I have zero control over…..I can’t do anything about Hannah’s medical issues and health so that stress is always there, affecting all 3 of us. I can’t do anything about things that go wrong with Dennis at work, but the stress is there and it affects all 3 of us. I can’t do anything about the things that are happening in our families, but again, the stress is there. So, stress is just a part of our daily life; but where I tend to struggle immensely is allowing that stress and the pity party that can come along with it (the “this is not fair” thoughts and attitude) to take over.
I am not perfect……I struggle daily and even though I have no control over certain things in my life if I am not careful those things of which I have no control will take over my mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual well-being. Why am I blogging about this? First, blogging is therapy for me and getting it out in some form is helpful. Putting my thoughts on paper (in my case the computer screen) and seeing it in writing is a great source of release. At times it either brings me clarity or in some cases shows me how ridiculous I am and sound when I see it written down! The second reason I am blogging is to let my readers know that they are not alone. I think so often, so many of us feel completely overwhelmed with our circumstances and feel as if NO ONE understands and we are totally alone. You are not! We all have things in our life that stress us out, cause us to question everything and yes, some of us spend time having pity parties due to those circumstances. I have learned (and am still learning) that being alone is something I am not. I felt that way for a very long time……it is a lonely and sad feeling and I don’t want others to feel that way.
Stress and the toll it takes on our mind, health and soul can be devastating if we don’t keep it in check. My dad used to tell me growing up “there is no point in worrying about things you have no control over!” That is a really good statement……all it does is cause undo stress, health/mental/spiritual issues and the result (at least for me) are pity parties and those are no fun! Don’t let your circumstances steal your joy and the ability to be able to enjoy even the little tiny moments of happiness along the journey….yes, I am preaching to the choir here! Even though the journey is rough……try and see the joys until you come out on the other side!
Until next time……..